5 reasons setting better boundaries improves relationships

How are you showing up in your other relationships with people?

[Photo: Hiroshi Watanabe/Getty Images]

BY Next Big Idea Club

Below, Nedra Glover Tawwab shares five key insights from her new book, The Balancing Act: Creating Healthy Dependency and Connection Without Losing Yourself.

Nedra is a licensed therapist and author of the instant New York Times bestseller Set Boundaries, Find Peace. She has practiced relationship therapy for almost 20 years and has over 2.5 million followers across her social media platforms. Nedra has appeared as an expert on multiple news shows, such as the CBS Morning Show, and has had her work highlighted in publications such as the New York Times and Vice.

Healthy relationships are built on flexibility, not fixed labels or rigid patterns. By setting better boundaries, challenging your default behaviors, and expanding your support network, you can reshape how you show up and create more balanced, fulfilling connections.

Listen to the audio version of this Book Bite—read by Nedra herself—below, or in the Next Big Idea App.

1. Codependency exists on a spectrum

Codependency is not entirely bad. Much of what we hear about codependency frames it as a bad thing that we should get rid of or avoid at all costs. But it’s possible to be in a codependent relationship without needing to leave it.

At times, codependency is a way that we are trying to help someone or show love. But importantly, with codependency, we must monitor our actions so that we’re not overwhelmed by our level of output. We have to be flexible in saying yes sometimes and no at others. So, we need to make sure we build better boundaries if we have a tendency for codependency.

The biggest thing, however, is that we need to have healthy relationships in other spaces. Just because you have one scenario where you are over-giving doesn’t mean that you need to recreate that in all your relationships. Perhaps there is someone who you feel needs a level of support that is codependent. How are you showing up in your other relationships with people? What relationships pour into you? If you don’t have those, it may be time to seek them out.

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