Mark Andrews takes a wry look at the week's news

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Got your emergency kit sorted yet? Five years since the UK was plunged into lockdown, it seems our cousins across the channel are getting a bit jumpy about the prospect of a Third World War, and have produced a guide on how to survive an invasion or nuclear attack.

The pamphlet, which is due to be delivered to every household in France over the summer, advises people to put together and 'emergency kit' of food, water, batteries, paracetamol, and gauze pads. In the event of a nuclear strike, it says people should stay indoors and lock all doors. Nope, in the midst of a nuclear wipe-out, the worst thing you can do is make it easy for burglars, or take the dog for a walk.

Don't you think it's a........

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