Dear God. Don’t you just love this world of ours, where if you want, you can learn something new every day.

So, in bed with a chest infection, I found myself reading the agony aunt page.

In her byline photo, the agony aunt looked about 12. By the end of paragraph four, however, I had realised that this was a very learned, highly articulate, experienced and extremely formidable agony aunt. But there you go.

The agony aunt was responding to a letter from a reader who was worn down by her husband’s issues with insecurity, low self-esteem and inability to tolerate criticism of any kind.

She had tried talking to him about it. No go.

She asked him to attend counselling. He did attend, but didn’t engage with the therapy.

He was opposed to taking antidepressants too.

And so his mental health struggles meandered on until, long story short, the lady had had enough and wanted out.

At the same time, though, she was afraid of the effect a separation would have on their children, their finances, their standing within the community, and, most of all, the devastation a break-up could wreak on her emotionally fragile husband.

The agony aunt said bluntly that the husband was responsible for his own healing and that this woman was entitled to stop putting all her energy into saving a person who refused to help or save himself.

She said other things too. Very impressive things.

One phrase came up, which blew my mind.

The agony aunt referenced a........

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