What do Elvis Presley, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Donald Trump, Jill Biden, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., and Marilyn Monroe have in common?

This reads like one of those old bubble-gum-wrapper riddles, but it’s real.

Answer: They’re all on a Jeffrey Epstein–related list released by Attorney General Pam Bondi this week. More precisely, they’re all “government officials and ‘politically exposed persons’ named or referenced” in the Epstein files, according to a letter from Bondi to Congress, filed pursuant to the Epstein Files Transparency Act.

Bondi’s list is more than 300 names long, and it is — seemingly by design — utterly undifferentiated nonsense. It includes obvious criminal evildoers: Jeffrey Epstein himself and Ghislaine Maxwell. Bondi also names people who were friends or business associates of Epstein’s and (at a minimum) engaged in embarrassing (or worse) conduct: the recently arrested Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor (no longer officially a prince), Les Wexner, Kathy Ruemmler, Peter Attia, and many more.

And then Bondi’s list includes dozens of people who have never met Epstein and have done nothing wrong whatsoever. Marilyn Monroe died in 1962, when Epstein was 9 years old; Elvis made it until 1977. A search of both names in the DoJ’s “Epstein Library” reveals that they’re included simply because somebody, somewhere, referenced them in passing in some Epstein-adjacent email. The list isn’t even internally consistent. For example, the Epstein Library includes various mentions of John Lennon — but he’s not included on the AG’s scattershot list with his........

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