Tory Conference, chaos at Harper Collins and Mishcon de Reya’s “party from hell”; catch up on the latest gossip in this week’s The Capitalist

Tories disco through decline

Despite lagging behind Labour and Reform in the polls, rumours of a leadership coup swirling and local campaigners for the party leaving en masse, confidence in the Conservative Party was bulging in some quarters at this year’s party conference.

At the LGBT Tories party, frontbenchers got dancing to cheesy disco hits while an MC bigged up officials in the VIP area. The DJ then whacked on Mousse T’s saucy hit ‘Horny’, singing “I’m Tory – Tory, Tory, Tory”.

Shadow health secretary Stuart Andrew was asked – in front of hundreds of staffers and hacks – whether he was “horny or Tory”. His response: “I’m a horny Tory”. We’ll probably get a new Tory pledge on how they plan to boost fertility rates in no time at all.

But Andrew’s vigour was the exception at this year’s Manchester jamboree, where half-empty rooms were just one sign of a party fighting for relevancy. Chocolate bars handed out by Kemi Badenoch’s team, on which the slogan ‘When Labour negotiates, Britian loses’ (sic) was proudly printed, were a further signal that even the party elect are struggling to care.

Oh dear. Almost like a metaphor for the state of the Tories. pic.twitter.com/qm1o4jCzFx

Another clear sign that conference was less well attended........

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