Of course, I've fantasised about revenge. Who hasn't? I'd just do it differently
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I'm not afraid to admit that in my vivid imagination, I am a vengeful person. I fantasise about ways I can knock people off - or have them knocked off for me.
That's particularly true about some of the bosses I've had (sex pest, serial liar, manipulative bonehead, drunk - some of these overlap). And it's even more particularly true about anyone who hurts my kids.
But never in all my days, in my darkest fantasies, would I ever do anything as complicated as serve a beef Wellington with death cap mushrooms. Way too much work, for a start.
First, find your fungal toxins of choice. Next, avoid inhaling the aroma as you mush them into the necessary form.
Plus, the prospect of puff pastry gives me a headache and I have neither the cool hands nor the warm heart to make that buttery concoction myself (although I note the mushroom-wielding-murderer bought ready-made. Slack).
Who was the overly complex meal for? Patterson's in-laws, Gail and Don Patterson, Gail's sister Heather Wilkinson, and Heather's husband Ian. Gail, Don, and Heather all died as a result of poisoning with Amanita phalloides, the fancy name for death cap mushrooms. Patterson also invited her estranged husband Simon but he decided not to go. Maybe his spidey sense knew something was up.
My intriguing imagined methods would be much simpler and definitely nothing requiring cooking. Take them for a walk and push them off a cliff. Bump them into oncoming traffic (depending on the speed of the traffic, this may only end up with slight injury if peak hour gridlock is anything to go by). Smother them with a pillow after they'd drunk too much (although pretty difficult to get into the bedroom of someone you loathe and who knows you loathe them).
Thing is, in all of these cases, it would be pretty easy to discern a motive. I hated these people for obvious reasons (nah, we aren't supposed to hate........
© Canberra Times
