Australia, with respect, lift your f---ing game. Americans can beat us in the Davis Cup. England can snag an Ashes upset. But how are we losing to both those countries when it comes to using vulgar words online? I mean, WTF.

I’m pissed (in the American sense) we’re lagging in our national sport. I’m absolutely tamping (to borrow Welsh slang) to eat Pommy dust. In 2023, when our Diamonds lost by a lousy netball goal to England, I could take my lumps. But losing in swearing? That’s bullshit.

According to a new study, our swearing standards have diminished. Credit: iStock

The boilover was announced in Lingua, under the banner: “Bad Language and Vulgarity Online and in Public Discourse”. Salting the wounds, the chief authors were Dr Martin Schweinberger from the University of Queensland and Professor Kate Burridge from Monash. Yep, locals. So we can’t suspect crooked umpiring.

Almost 600 vulgarities were audited, from the usual suspects........

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