Which hobbies are best for meeting new people? Molly Gorman tested four of them – and discovered surprising facts about how and why we bond as a species.

Walking into a busy climbing gym in London on a Friday night, I feel an overwhelming sense of dread. Desperately gazing past the staff at the reception desk, my eyes lock onto the sea of chalk-covered hands and limbs swinging between multi-coloured holds – all around five metres (16ft) above crash mats.

I am here as part of an experiment for our ongoing BBC series exploring the science – and art – of friendship. Cultivating friendships is key to our wellbeing, and to living a long life. As we mature and become more agreeable, it can actually get easier to form and maintain friendships. But where do you start?

London is a city of nearly nine million people, but like anywhere, it can still be lonely. And without opportunities to mingle, it can be hard to try out and develop different friendship skills and strategies.

Finding a hobby may seem an obvious way to foster social connection – in fact, research suggests that bonding through hobbies is a uniquely human trait. However, given the huge range of potential clubs, classes and activities, which one is actually best for making friends? And is there scientific evidence that some activities have more social potential than others?

To find out, I tested three new activities, and one existing hobby for comparison, and also explored the evidence-backed benefits they might offer. I chose a range of activities, from sports to art, across different budgets. For full transparency, I decided to mention the cost of each activity – since choosing a hobby can also be a matter of affordability. Here's what I found:

In late 2020, I moved to London from the countryside. Seeking to make friends in my local area as well as shape some kind of exercise routine, I decided to join a recreational netball league, which is perfect for those who may be more interested in the social aspect of a team sport, as opposed to the competitiveness.

I soon found a wonderful team and we have now played together for four years. Every Monday evening, rain or shine, we take to the court, but we also meet up outside of the sport – whether that's for a drink after a match or dinner on the weekend.

If you are not naturally into ball games, this activity may not feel worth trying out – but research suggests that team sports can have huge benefits for people of all ages and all abilities. Inclusive sports can for example improve the wellbeing of children with disabilities by providing them with the opportunity to "form friendships, express creativity, develop a self-identity and foster a meaning and purpose in life".

According to Arran Davis, an expert on social connection and health at the University of Oxford, in the UK, collaborative activities like team sports can not only make exercise feel easier, but can help us build social relationships.

"There's a couple of ways that could happen: the first is just doing stuff together. So what psychologists call 'sharing intention'," he says. This term refers to the phenomenon of connecting over or talking about a common goal or action. As Davis puts it, it's the sense of: "'I think about what you're thinking about, you think about what I'm thinking about'."

Shared intention "makes us feel a bit closer to one another and that can lead us to view one another as good cooperative partners or people that we feel more similar to", he says. "And these are the things that build friendships… through coordinating or collaborating, we're able to signal to each other that we're friends," he explains.

Davis goes on to explain how endorphins and other natural chemicals released in the body when we do aerobic exercise, for example the feeling of "runner's high", can be enhanced when we're working in a team. "Interestingly, these chemicals are also involved in primate bonding. When primates groom each other, they release endorphins, or when we laugh together, we release endorphins," he says. "So this gives us a positive feeling that we then start to associate with the people around us. It can be a way to build connection through sharing a positive psychological state."

A 2023 study compared social bonding between humans, and between other primates. It concluded that there may be something unique about the way we as humans bond through shared experiences, whether it's taking a walk together, dancing together, making music together,........

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