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I haven't set foot in my old Cambridge college for years. So why do I feel such irrational shame when drunken students run amok?

Like so many others, I felt a wave of nausea on reading this week of the disgusting mess left for the cleaners to clear up when drunken students ran...

previous day 20

Tom Utley

Memo to the Utley boys: I regret to inform you the local branch of the Bank of Mum and Dad has closed down

Few parents reading this will be surprised to learn that the Bank of Mum and Dad is fast running short of funds, with gifts of cash to help the young...

31.01.2025 3

Tom Utley

If Keir Starmer skipped a few dinner parties and went to the pub he might think - and speak - less like a lawyer and more like a human being

TOM UTLEY: Do you realise that every time you eat at your local pub, you are subsidising the dinner-party-going classes?

24.01.2025 8

Tom Utley

For once in our long marriage, Mrs U was the sinner, not me. I had no choice but to play copper's nark and grass her up to the Old Bill

TOM UTLEY: Nobody loves a snitch, I know, but this week I found myself in the deeply uncomfortable position of having to play copper's nark

17.01.2025 2

Tom Utley

I dream of wolfing down a full English. So why do I only have coffee and cigarettes for breakfast every day?

For me, the great joy of staying in a rural B&B or country hotel is the thought of a slap-up full English breakfast in the morning. The thought of...

10.01.2025 2

Tom Utley

My resolutions for 2025? A hearing aid and perhaps dentures after my first visit to the dentist in 30 years!

As the alcoholic haze of Christmas begins to clear, and yet another New Year looms, I fear it may be time for me to confront one or two...

27.12.2024 1

Tom Utley

Prince Andrew appears to be a mix of stupidity, arrogance and lack of self-awareness. So why do I feel sorry for him?

Every Christmas I remember a ticking-off from my late mother-in-law, an observant Roman Catholic, after I'd jeered at some celebrity for being as...

20.12.2024 2

Tom Utley

If you see me at a party this Christmas, feel free to sexually harass me or mock my great age. I could do with the compensation cheque!

Have you been missed off the list of invitees to the office party this Christmas? If so, you could be in for a handsome bonus. So suggests the...

13.12.2024 2

Tom Utley

The infuriating reason every Christmas at the Utleys begins with smiles... and ends with blood on the carpet

The numbers get bigger every year, as our ever-growing family squashes round the table in a house that comfortably seats only six. Otherwise, it’s...

06.12.2024 2

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I haven't set foot in my old Cambridge college for years. So why do I feel such irrational shame when drunken students run amok?

Tom Utley

Memo to the Utley boys: I regret to inform you the local branch of the Bank of Mum and Dad has closed down

Tom Utley

If Keir Starmer skipped a few dinner parties and went to the pub he might think - and speak - less like a lawyer and more like a human being

Tom Utley

For once in our long marriage, Mrs U was the sinner, not me. I had no choice but to play copper's nark and grass her up to the Old Bill

Tom Utley

I dream of wolfing down a full English. So why do I only have coffee and cigarettes for breakfast every day?

Tom Utley

My resolutions for 2025? A hearing aid and perhaps dentures after my first visit to the dentist in 30 years!

Tom Utley

Prince Andrew appears to be a mix of stupidity, arrogance and lack of self-awareness. So why do I feel sorry for him?

Tom Utley

If you see me at a party this Christmas, feel free to sexually harass me or mock my great age. I could do with the compensation cheque!

Tom Utley

The infuriating reason every Christmas at the Utleys begins with smiles... and ends with blood on the carpet

Tom Utley