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Fabien Mcquillan

Fabien Mcquillan

The Irish News

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Climbing big hills, driving into deep potholes and being overtaken by pensioners in the Mourne Mountains

08.03.2025 8

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

How to lose your tractor virginity in three easy steps

22.02.2025 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

I got a £100 fine for dropping off at Belfast City Airport and I’m not paying (but my wife might)

16.02.2025 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

No Stopping, Picking Up or Dropping Off at Belfast City Airport – not even for ‘free spirits’

09.02.2025 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Fabien McQuillan: I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your playhouse down

02.02.2025 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Dreams of fish suppers, Creme Eggs and treat night in north Belfast

26.01.2025 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Why everyone needs a scary Hungarian mechanic in their life

19.01.2025 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Rescued from the M1 by my knight in a white truck and shiny hi-viz armour

11.01.2025 8

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Meditations of an ageing Mod on a motorway embankment

There are certain trying times when I just sit down and say to myself, how in under God did I end up here? I stare forlornly and shake my head...

05.01.2025 5

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Who doesn’t love a traditional Christmas dinner, hot off the press?

My brother regaled me about his Christmas morning in Belfast and it gave me quite the laugh. He was still in his jammies, sorting out the roast...

30.12.2024 4

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Tyrone any more

The axiom that a parent is only as happy as their unhappiest child rang true for me last week. It was the Wizard of Oz that caused the woe. Fiadh,...

22.12.2024 4

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

The miracle of the Irishman at the Emirates Stadium

There was a family reunion for my wife Fionnuala’s ones last week and I ended up being a designated driver. I didn’t mind at all but after leaving...

14.12.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

When you’re at a funeral but you just can’t stop smiling...

I have an old friend I went to The Ranch with whose father died recently. He and I were close back then, but we really bonded when we went...

08.12.2024 8

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

He came to power-hose from a land down under

THERE is a cousin of Fionnuala’s who is just back from Australia after a year on the working holiday visa. Bit of a cliché culchie: over-friendly,...

30.11.2024 3

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Look, it’s Sitting Bull, snoring loudly in his Christmas jumper in a theatre in Co Tyrone

It’s a bit early for Christmas jumpers but I sat beside a man wearing one the other night. I have seen him out and about and he always wears...

23.11.2024 2

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Pack up, let’s fly away – just don’t forget to book that pesky airport bag

Airports are where the most civilized of society hang out. The rich and the poor, side by side, the regulations ensuring everyone is exquisitely...

17.11.2024 2

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

We’re going on a mouse hunt (we’re not scared)

The leaves are nearly all off the trees; now on the ground, in the garden and the yard, swirling round the bins, starting to rot. I have brushed up...

10.11.2024 3

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

There’s nothing as scary on Halloween night as an angry Genghis McCann

Eric, our mutt, hates Halloween. The fireworks have him demented: his face, normally so dull, is now erupting with sad and frightened expressions,...

03.11.2024 4

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

There’s no need to ‘hunt the chicken’ at a Tyrone children’s party

Having to go to a child’s party and hang around a stranger’s house for half a day small-talking is right up there. It’s tricky enough spending a...

26.10.2024 2

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

As they say in Tyrone, losing your phone is nathin’ but a pure hanlin’

In Tyrone, when something goes wrong, they call it a hanlin’, as in a ‘handling’, or a dramatic episode. You could be embroiled in a bit of a...

20.10.2024 2

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

The joys of being an Irish dancing daddy

I found myself alone in Dublin last weekend drinking a pricey coffee. Sitting outside on a crisp bright morning, I watched the world and his wife...

12.10.2024 2

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Give me a bottle of Baileys and I’ll tell you the meaning of life

Fionnuala, my wife, loves reading. I sometimes think she’s pretending because she reads so quickly, but every now and then she will leave a book at...

06.10.2024 2

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Life moves pretty fast when you have an electric jeep

I’m a blow-in to Tyrone, and always will be, but a new blow-in has appeared and I have climbed the ladder an inch. He’s a bit of a hot-shot,...

28.09.2024 2

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Yeah, you wheelie got me this time, guys

There’s a blue bin stand-off at the refuse department. I don’t know why, but they have reduced their service and I end up running to the dump...

22.09.2024 2

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Would you Adam and Eve it – it’s the holiest family in Co Tyrone

There is a couple here who are holier than thou, attending more Masses than a politician at election time. Their nicknames are Adam and Eve. I...

14.09.2024 3

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

‘Cancun? The furthest Genghis has been on holiday is Coalisland’

We haven’t seen much of Genghis this last while as he has been courting an American woman who is besotted with him. I certainly don’t miss him but...

07.09.2024 2

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Not all heroes wear capes – some prefer Subaru body-warmers

I‘ve been spending a fair amount of time on the M1 recently, running up and down to my lonely mother on the Antrim Road, which makes me feel lonely...

31.08.2024 2

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Did you ever hear the story of the old man who lived in a hedge?

I really love libraries, and our local one is absolutely fine. I often go in and flick through books I would never buy, or read papers I would...

18.08.2024 10

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

Scam callers and misogynistic mechanics – just say no

Mrs Davison, Genghis’s neighbour, who had become an acquaintance of mine, had messaged to say she needed my help. “Just say yes.” Fionnuala was...

11.08.2024 4

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan

You look very fetching in your double denim, dear

Fionnuala announced that we were booked in for a family portrait and that we were to wear the same outfits, which I immediately railed against....

03.08.2024 2

The Irish News

Fabien Mcquillan