Is this the worst thing that’s happened in cricket? Praise the Lord, and pass the sandpaper
Is this the worst thing that’s happened in cricket? Praise the Lord, and pass the sandpaper
August 1, 2026 — 3:00am
You have reached your maximum number of saved items.
Remove items from your saved list to add more.
Let’s talk about “Clicky Ponting”. You know the one. He’s the amateur cricketer from Saltburn Cricket Club in North Yorkshire, England, who was caught last week clicking his fingers as the ball passed the willow to fool the umpire into giving the batsman out.
Yes, I’d never thought of that practice either. But “click” and “snick” do sound remarkably similar, when you think about it. And maybe it occasionally works in fooling the ears of 75-year-old umpires.
In response, the world of the cricketer in question, Brian Devine, imploded, as social media melted down; he was all but burnt at the stake, and Piers Morgan – a former News of the World editor, who defended phone hacking on the grounds that it was “an investigative practice that everyone knows was going on at almost every paper in Fleet Street for years” – nearly burst a boiler saying “Clicky” was no less than “the biggest cheat in cricket history.”
Yes mate, phone hacking is “an investigative practice”, but this is the worst thing that’s happened in cricket?
The Sun itself was anguished, thundering, “We Abhor Cheats.”
In Australia, the reaction has not been quite as savage, but a couple of great cricket men of my circle were ropeable. Really? All this for a village cricketer who did what he shouldn’t have oughta?
It took Australia’s own mob, satirical podcasters from The Grade Cricketer – who glory in having “celebrated and benefited from the low-rent charm of club cricket’s rich, dark underbelly, alongside hundreds of thousands of people around the world” – to restore some sense of perspective.
“Of course, it would appear some members at Saltburn CC have engaged in comically sharp practice,” they said in a statement offering their help to “Clicky” to get legal representation and Saltburn financial assistance to replace lost sponsorship.
“But sadly, when f---wits like Piers Morgan declare to millions that ‘Clicky Ponting must be the biggest cheat in cricket history’, all proportionality is lost, and we feel a brotherly obligation to support the club in that context.”
Look, unlike the unfortunate batsmen sent to the far pavilions whence they came, “Clicky” was genuinely caught out, and yes, of course he had to be punished. At last call, he’s been suspended. You kids at home, please don’t try this, as it is not in the spirit of the game.
But, geez, Louise! The Grade Cricketer is right – a sense of proportion, please!
Isn’t it more in the field of “extreme gamesmanship” than actual – praise the Lord, and pass the sandpaper – call-the-cops cheating?
You know, extreme gamesmanship. Isn’t that what we Australians have specialised in?
Like sledging, or “mental disintegration” if you will. Like bowling the ball underarm. Like bowlers putting Brylcreem on one side of the ball to make it swing more. Like batters refusing to walk even when they know they’re out........
