“I don’t even want a funeral.”

That was Phil Gould’s reaction as he tried to absorb the star-studded turnout for a private dinner to celebrate his 50th year in rugby league. He wasn’t being ungrateful; he was teary and overwhelmed.

“I’ve never even had a birthday ... this is for other people, people I look up to, people I work with, not me,” he said.

What people don’t understand about Gould is that for a man who is always in the spotlight, he is never comfortable being the centre of attention. Particularly in a social situation.

He was tricked by Bulldogs chairman Adam Driussi – who organised the night – into joining him for a “sponsors meeting”. Instead, Gould walked into a room packed with most of the important people in his professional and personal life. In attendance were: businessman Paul Signorelli, Bulldogs deputy chairman John Khoury, Bulldogs chief executive Aaron Warburton, Bulldogs general manager of stakeholder and community Di Langmack, Canterbury chief operating officer John White, Bulldogs coach Cameron Ciraldo, Bulldogs head of recruitment Peter Sharp, league great Brad Fittler, broadcaster Yvonne Sampson, businessman and former Nine Entertainment boss David Gyngell, NSW Origin coach Laurie Daley, Raiders coach Ricky Stuart, broadcaster Michelle Bishop, businessman Sami Chamoun, former ARL boss Geoff Carr, former Panther-turned-property-developer Lou Zivanovic, Warriors chief executive Cameron George, New Zealand Warriors owner Mark Robinson, player manager Steve Gillis, former long-time trainer Ronnie Palmer, broadcaster Andrew Voss and league greats and broadcasters Darryl Brohman and Paul Vautin.

Phil Gould (centre) with (left to right) Laurie Daley, Paul Vautin, Ricky Stuart and Sami Chamoun.

But the most treasured guests were his wife, June, and two of his three kids, son Jack and daughter Abbey. Gould’s other daughter, Brooke, is overseas.

Gould never talks about his family. This is the first time. The most public of figures, he has always kept that side of his life private.

“Family is everything,” he said. “I’ve always managed to keep work away from a family. I’ve separated the two, and I’ve never really got them involved with it, and I’ve never taken the rugby league issues home at any time.

“And, you know, we don’t have newspapers in the house – although I think my missus sneaks out and reads them.

“I felt as though I wanted to protect them from a lot of what we go through in the game, and just go out and work and earn a living and look after them. That’s what I’ve been motivated by. That’s how I’ve always been.”

Phil Gould with wife June.Credit: Canterbury Bulldogs

Gould will often talk about his late father, and helps care for his mum – who he still visits every weekend – no matter how busy he is.

It’s a side of him he keeps private. But seeing him with his family and his closest friends in football was a privilege.

“The way all these people came together for me ... I don’t know how I’ll thank them,” Gould said. “Until now, they are the people I trusted most in my life ... After keeping this secret from me, I’m not sure I can trust them any more.”

He was laughing when he said it, and he took aim at one guest in his speech.

Phil Gould and Brad Fittler during NSW’s Origin series victory in 2004.Credit: NRL Photos

“I’m very happy to see you all, except f---ing Fatty [Vautin], who beat me 3-0 at Origin.”

But Vautin shed more light on that.

“He was actually so humble and full of praise –........

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