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There’s an At-Home Test For That: Women Can ‘Biohack’ Their Vaginas Now

“He said my girl’s pussy is the most edible out there. He said he’s eating Wagyu pussy, grass-fed, free range.”

By Gigi Fong | Reviewed by Ysolt Usigan

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As if spermmaxxing wasn’t enough, one man’s unhinged tweet is lowkey promoting… p*ssymaxxxing? Biohacker Bryan Johnson, the man obsessed with living (and looking young) longer, decided to inform the internet that he just gave his wife head.

“Just gave Kate oral sex, everyone. Goodnight, everyone.” As if that wasn’t enough information, his overshare continued: “This is her vaginal microbiome report. 100/100 score. Top 1% of all vaginas.” 

Naturally, the entire platform started trolling his ridiculous tweet and mindset. If it’s not obvious why… women have enough to obsess over. Ranking our partners via their vaginal microbiome? Seems rather ridiculous. Outside of this tweet, Johnson spends his time working on “Don’t Die,” a company and now book, that teaches you “how to be healthy, for free.” Now you see why we don’t want him anywhere near our vaginas?

Oh, and the trolling is just as hilarious as you’d assume. 

He said my girl’s pussy is the most edible out there. He said he’s eating Wagyu pussy, grass fed, free range https://t.co/QG3FlKjpXg— Poe's Law, Esq: Poe's Lawyer (@dyingscribe) April 30, 2026

He said my girl’s pussy is the most edible out there. He said he’s eating Wagyu pussy, grass fed, free range https://t.co/QG3FlKjpXg

He continued, “The lab found nothing bad to report. (no Gardnerella, Candida, STIs, opportunistic pathogens, aerobic vaginitis markers, etc.).” 

This is her vaginal........

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