Get unlimited access to everything VICE has to offer.

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

4 Magazines Delivered to Your Door

5 Things Women Actually Find Attractive in Men, According to Dating Experts

A 2025 Ipsos poll found young men overestimated looks and money, while women ranked humor, kindness, and emotional connection higher.

Share on X (Opens in new window)X

Share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Facebook

Share using Native toolsShareCopied to clipboard

Men have spent an insane amount of time optimizing for the wrong things (looking at you, looks-maxxers). The hours logged at the gym, the salary flexes, the practiced swagger—and yet the discrepancy between what men assume women are looking for and what women actually find attractive remains, somehow, enormous.

The 2025 Ipsos poll numbers are almost funny. Half of young men surveyed believed physical attractiveness was women’s top priority in a partner; 39% said financial status. Women in the same poll ranked humor (60%) and kindness (53%) at the top. Those two lists have probably cost a lot of men a second date. Coaches and researchers who study this for a living keep arriving at the same conclusions.

1. Be Kind — No, Actually

Kindness might sound like a participation-trophy answer, but the research says it’s a big deal. A study published in Evolutionary Psychology analyzed dynamics among 148 heterosexual couples and found that kindness played a significant role in both initial attraction and........

© Vice