Squishy?

Not anymore. You must be thinking of Switzerland or Tahiti or somewhere. Around here, things have changed, and changed fast.

These days, if you cheat-slide into a “Residential Parking Only” spot, you best be prepared to find a stern warning note from a bona fide resident when you return.

Slide in twice and God only knows, but you might find yourself forced into sensitivity training.

You walk through the self-checkout with 21 items, even though the sign clearly says 12 items max?

You’re in for really disapproving looks from other customers.

Can you feel how much they want to therapize your bad attitude?

Jump your turn in the Cook Street Village roundabout, and you better be ready for a menacing eco-beep of protest from that hard-braking electric car.

So, it’s your move at Working Culture Bread, and unthinkingly, you ask for a dozen hot-dog buns, white, not even whole grain.

Oh really? Turn around for a glance at the couple in line behind you.

Can’t miss the look that says they want to “re-educate” you in a deep vat of boiling non-GMO, toxin-free, organic avocado oil.

No question, this place has gone totally shoot-to-discuss.

Something in the carrot juice? Planetary........

© Times Colonist