For most of my life, people have known me as one of the most relentless pro Israel advocates around. For more than twelve years, day and night, without funding, without organizations behind me, without salaries or grants, I defended Israel in conversations, online battles, interviews, debates, articles, and private discussions that often lasted until sunrise. I did not do it because it was fashionable. Trust me, it was never fashionable. I did not do it because I wanted approval or because I wanted to belong to a tribe. If anything, my advocacy isolated me from people.

I lost two relationships because of my activism. Real relationships. Love stories that could have become a future. I lost jobs because employers considered my outspoken support for Israel controversial. I lost opportunities, invitations, collaborations, and friendships. I received threats. Endless threats. Some subtle, some graphic, some terrifying. But none of it ever truly stopped me because my connection to Israel was never political in the shallow sense people often assume.

It was emotional. Spiritual, even.

Israel always felt like home to me, even before I fully understood why.

Long before people like Yoseph Haddad became internationally known. Long before organizations like StandWithUs established themselves in the Netherlands. Long before social media turned advocacy into branding, influencing, and fundraising, I was already defending Israel publicly.

And because I wanted to defend it honestly, I studied.

I read history books obsessively. I read the Bible, the Torah, the Talmud, and the Quran. I studied the Arab Israeli conflict from every possible angle because I wanted my arguments to be rooted in knowledge instead of slogans. I have always been allergic to lies, regardless of who tells them. Justice matters deeply to me. Truth matters deeply to me. That is precisely why what I am experiencing now hurts so much.

Because lately, something has shifted inside me.

Not my love for Israel. That remains deeply rooted. But my certainty. My ability to silence certain doubts. My ability to look away from things that once I could rationalize or ignore.

I think the shift started somewhere around late 2022 and early 2023. Around the time the endless demonstrations against Benjamin Netanyahu erupted after his reelection. Officially, they were anti judicial reform demonstrations. But they quickly became something much larger and much uglier. Every Saturday night, the streets filled with rage, division, internal hatred, and political hysteria.

Of course Israel is a democracy. Protest is part of democracy. I know that. But what I saw frightened me because I could feel the damage being done to the country from within.

And what hurt me most was not even the demonstrations themselves. It was seeing Israeli protesters waving Palestinian flags only hours after terror attacks against........

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)