Rabbi Anchelle Perl Speaks on Loneliness in a Tech-Connected Society

We live in a remarkable age of technology. With a single device in our hands, we can communicate instantly with people across the globe. Messages travel in seconds, information flows endlessly, and social networks connect millions.

Yet paradoxically, many people today feel more alone than ever before.

Loneliness has quietly become one of the defining social challenges of our time. Public health experts now describe social isolation as a silent epidemic. Research shows that loneliness affects emotional wellbeing, physical health, and even life expectancy.

But long before modern psychology began studying this phenomenon, the Torah already articulated a profound truth about the human condition.

“It Is Not Good for Man to Be Alone”

In the Book of Bereishit (Genesis 2:18), the Torah states: “Lo tov heyot ha’adam levado.”

“It is not good for a person to be alone.” This is one of the earliest recorded insights into human emotional wellbeing. Judaism teaches that human beings are not meant to live in isolation. Connection is not simply pleasant—it is essential.

The Talmud (Ta’anit 23a) expresses this idea in striking language:

“O chavruta o mituta.” “Either companionship—or life feels diminished.”

Meaningful relationships are therefore not optional for a healthy society. They are a basic human need.

The Challenge of the Modern World

Today’s loneliness often hides beneath the surface.

A person may have hundreds of contacts online but still feel that no one truly sees them. Technology connects devices but does not always connect hearts.

We see this in many forms:

A teenager surrounded by social media yet feeling excluded.

A successful professional who has no one to confide in.

An elderly neighbor whose phone rarely rings.

Isolation does not always look like loneliness. Often it exists quietly in the background of everyday life.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe’s Insight

The Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, spoke often about loneliness in modern society and offered a profound perspective.

He explained that loneliness is not only about the absence of people. Often it is the feeling that one’s life does not matter—that one is unnecessary.

The Rebbe taught that every human being must know two fundamental truths:

You are needed. And you can make a difference.

When a person feels that their presence matters and their actions impact others, loneliness begins to dissolve.

For this reason, the Rebbe constantly encouraged something deceptively simple yet deeply transformative:

Acts of goodness and kindness.

When we help another person, two lonely individuals become connected.

A Story from the Rebbe

A well-known story illustrates how seriously the Rebbe took the pain of loneliness.

One night, very late, the Rebbe’s secretariat received a phone call from someone who felt completely alone and emotionally overwhelmed. The person had no one to speak to and simply needed someone to listen.

The call was passed along, and despite the late hour, the Rebbe spoke with the individual for an extended time.

Those present later asked the Rebbe why he devoted so much time to a single caller in the middle of the night.

The Rebbe responded with a simple but powerful explanation:

“If a person feels they have no one in the world to speak to, then at that moment they must know that they do have someone.”

For the Rebbe, responding to human loneliness was not a minor matter. It was a profound responsibility.

Three Roots of Modern Isolation

Through observation and experience, we can identify several major factors contributing to loneliness today.

Technology without intimacy

Technology allows constant communication, but communication is not always connection. A text message cannot replace eye contact. A “like” cannot replace empathy.

The disappearance of gathering spaces

In earlier generations, people naturally gathered in synagogues, community centers, and neighborhood events. These environments fostered relationships and shared experiences.

When people stop gathering, loneliness grows quietly.

The culture of hyper-independence

Modern society often glorifies radical independence. Yet human beings were not designed to live entirely alone.

Jewish tradition reminds us: “Kol Yisrael arevim zeh bazeh.”

“All Jews are responsible for one another.” (Shevuot 39a) Healthy communities are built on mutual responsibility.

Every Person Carries a Divine Spark

Jewish teaching emphasizes that every human being is created B’tzelem Elokim— in the image of G-d (Genesis 1:27).

This means that every individual possesses inherent dignity and purpose.

The Rebbe once compared society to the human body. If one limb hurts, the entire body feels the pain. Likewise, when even one member of the community feels isolated or forgotten, the entire community should care.

Helping another person is therefore not only charity—it is an expression of our shared humanity.

A Practical Jewish Response

Jewish tradition offers simple yet powerful responses to the challenge of loneliness.

Loneliness often hides. The quiet coworker, the elderly neighbor, the student who feels unseen—sometimes all that is required is awareness.

Restore the power of visiting

The mitzvah of bikur cholim (visiting the sick) reminds us that presence itself is healing. Sometimes the most powerful words a person can hear are simply:

“I’m glad you’re here.”

Give people opportunities to give

Jewish thought teaches that the deepest joy often comes not from receiving, but from giving. When someone is able to help another person, they rediscover their own purpose.

Jewish mysticism teaches a beautiful idea about light.

When one candle lights another, the original flame does not diminish. Instead, the room becomes brighter.

The same is true of kindness. Every small act—a visit, a call, a smile, a moment of listening—adds light to the world.

In a time when loneliness affects so many people, each of us has the ability to bring connection, warmth, and purpose into another person’s life.

And when we do, we fulfill the Torah’s vision of a world in which no one feels invisible, no one feels forgotten, and every human being knows that they matter.

Because in a truly compassionate community, no one stands alone.

© The Times of Israel (Blogs)