On August 31st, I finished 20 weeks of chemo for breast cancer. One week from yesterday, I will undergo a double mastectomy and reconstruction.

The experience has been intense and challenging. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. Individually and as a family. Treatment affects so much more than the body. It reshapes routines, priorities, and relationships.

As I reflect on these past months with my husband, Judah, I want to share some of what we have learned from others about what it means to help and care. Not because our situation is unique, but because these lessons feel relevant to all those supporting friends or family going through something difficult. We hope that sharing our perspective will help others who want to be there for someone facing a challenge of any kind.

Small gestures matter. We were struck by how deeply we appreciated thoughtful acts of kindness. A knock on the door with soup, fruit, or flowers. A message saying, “Thinking of you.” Shabbat afternoons when someone showed up with cookies, fruit, or just to spend time felt especially warm and meaningful. These moments gave us the sensation that the hands and thoughts of others were holding us up.

Be concrete and sincere when you offer help.........

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