Now that I’ve reached middle age, when the time I have left to me is dwarfed by the time I’ve squandered in unproductive activities like having a family and being nice to people, a bucket list seems all wrong. Do I have the time to train for Everest base camp? Of course not. Much simpler to write a reverse-bucket list – things that I’ve done in the past and will never do again.

On the cancelled list: Camel riding (the author, Margot Saville, is seen here with her daughter Stella), and the boat that sunk ambitions.Credit: Illustration by Michael Howard

Top of the list is anything to do with “paraphernalia sports” – where the pleasure in the activity is outweighed by the sheer volume of equipment. No. 1 is boating. I was once part of a syndicate which owned a 1953 Halvorsen – a timber boat from the “golden age” of maritime history. What this meant was your shipwright flew first-class to Europe every year because you had spent Aristotle Onassis-quantities of money on keeping it afloat and, in our case, trying to fix the toilet (sorry, head).

Everyone had Marine Rescue NSW on speed dial because when you’ve broken down in the main shipping channel in Sydney Harbour and a 150,000-tonne cruise boat is due in 15 minutes, you need a tow – fast. I assume that owning an E-Type Jag is a similar experience, at about half of 1 per cent of the cost.

In the 20 years we........

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