“Please remember to treat our team respectfully as they assist you.” (Telstra, recorded phone call.) “During this stressful time we ask everyone to be patient and respectful towards our staff.” (Pharmacy Guild of Australia, signage template.) “We will not tolerate verbal abuse and aggressive or violent behaviour toward our team and other shoppers. Be kind or leave.” (My local shop.)

Illustration by Dionne Gain Credit:

Here you were, thinking you were just a customer, when in reality you’ve entered a conflict zone. What you thought was a simple human interaction now comes with a red flag.

The cautions, “Do Not” signs and hair triggers started before COVID, but since 2020 they’ve spread like a pandemic of their own. Pre-COVID, the customer was always right; now the customer is on their last warning.

Blame the rising cost of living. Blame the 205 times per day the average person is checking their phone. Blame the viral rampage of undiagnosed mental illness threatening social cohesion and civility. Blame Trump.

Adjacent to the zero-tolerance signs and the phone holds, like a good cop next to a bad cop, are the Likert scales which have also swamped post-pandemic life.

“Take this quick survey.” “How did we do?” “Rate us out of five.” Developed by the psychologist Rensis Likert in 1932, the five-step scale (Very Likely, Somewhat Likely, Neither Likely Nor Unlikely, Somewhat Unlikely, Very Unlikely) aimed to quantify human feelings into usable data. Now, to divert our microaggressions before they become macro, Likert scales function as social control. Before you open your mouth and say something offensive, you might just press the button saying you “Strongly Disagree” with the service and are “Very Unlikely” to........

© The Sydney Morning Herald