Here we go: two weeks of wall-to-wall coverage of the sport for people who hate sport. The most boring game ever invented, played by the most boring athletes, watched by the most boring audience, interpreted by the most boring commentators.

In case the penny hasn’t dropped, I am of course describing Wimbledon, the only sporting occasion at which the most controversial issue is the cost of strawberries, and the only major competition in which key analysis focuses on the decibel count of female players hitting the ball.

Nothing exemplifies better how Wimbledon is the sporting contest for people with no interest in sport than ‘Henman Hill’, a patch of grass on which tennis fans congregate to eat a picnic while the actual sport takes place somewhere else.

And nothing better illustrates........

© The Spectator