Today, in what will doubtless be just the first of many irritations inflicted on the unfortunate people of Makerfield, Labour launched their by-election campaign. The latest movement in what already feels like the 118th Brumaire of Andy Burnham. 

The location he had chosen for the launch was a patch of irradiated tarmac; the sort of place criminals might take a mini fridge for an unceremonious fly-tipping. A van, parked on a slope, had a digital billboard attached, depicting a bizarre big-headed avatar of Burnham himself. It resembled a Funko Pop doll, the Japanese-inspired bits of plastic for which nerdy teenagers depart with obscene amounts of cash. 

Next to the doll face was a plea: ‘Vote Andy for us’. Labour seems to specialise in these syntactically nonsensical slogans; is it asking people to commit electoral fraud? Is it an attempt to have Burnham extradited to the United States? Or have Labour just realised that their best bet is to come........

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