We often hear people say, “Live in the present. Forget the past.” But for many, that’s easier said than done. The human mind has its own way of clinging to pain — like a wound we keep touching just to check if it still hurts. Knowingly or unknowingly, many of us become prisoners of our memories, trapped between what has happened and what could have been. In my years of observation, I’ve seen that people don’t remain unwell only because of disease or age — sometimes they remain unwell because they can’t forgive. They can’t forgive those who hurt them, or even themselves for the choices they made. They keep repeating their stories, believing that by telling them, they will feel lighter. But this relief is temporary. The wound closes for a moment, only to open again with the next retelling.

Psychologists call this rumination — the habit of repeatedly thinking about distressing events. At first, it feels like catharsis, a way to release bottled-up emotions. When we share our pain, someone listens, and we feel understood. But this comfort is momentary. Each time we recall the same hurt, the brain and body respond as if it’s happening all over again. The heart rate increases, the body tenses, and stress hormones like cortisol are released. Gradually, this constant emotional reactivation drains the body — leading to fatigue, anxiety, and even chronic illness.

What we mistake for emotional release is often emotional........

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