IF there were a united Ireland tomorrow, it would probably have one of the most incompetent governments in Irish history.

An odd prediction, you say, but it is based on assuming that an all-Ireland government would contain one or more of the four main parties currently in power in Dublin and Belfast: Fianna Fáil, Fine Gael, Sinn Féin and the DUP.

The recent history of these parties in office is poor in many aspects of government.

This suggests that modern Irish politics, north and south, is remarkably devoid of talent and, in some cases, even basic human ability.

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Whichever combination of the existing government parties might govern a united Ireland, it is hard to avoid the conclusion that the new administration would be an unprecedented amalgam of administrative uselessness.

So where, you ask, is the evidence for such sweeping statements?

Let’s begin by looking at both governments’ record in major construction projects.

In Belfast, the new children’s hospital was to cost £250 million with a completion date of 2020. It is now estimated to cost £671m and might be ready in 2030 – 10 years late.

Meanwhile, in Dublin, the national children’s hospital was originally budgeted at £566m for opening in 2020. That finish date has been delayed 18 times and it is currently hoped to be ready sometime towards the end of 2027 – seven years late. The revised cost is now about £2 billion – four times the original estimate.

Of the two governments, Stormont has a much superior track record in uselessness. It has failed to deliver not just one hospital, but two.

The Belfast maternity hospital, first proposed in 1999, was due to open in 2015 at a cost of £57m. It now might open in 2027 with a price tag of over £100m.

China opened 355 new hospitals last year alone. During Covid, it constructed a prefabricated 1,000-bed, emergency hospital in 10 days.

Between 2009 (ten years after Belfast’s maternity hospital was first proposed) and 2017 (ten years before it is likely to open), China built 10,000 new hospitals.

Between them, the Belfast and Dublin governments have displayed a cross-border level of incompetence which renders the concept of a united Ireland more of a nightmare than a dream.

If our politicians cannot build a new hospital, how do they expect to build a new Ireland?

Perhaps they should get the Chinese to run a newly unified state.

Ireland’s shared uselessness can also be seen in infrastructure projects.

Work was due to begin last year on Dublin’s MetroLink, a high-speed railway linking the airport to the city centre. Despite spending £175 million, no start date has yet been announced.

Originally estimated to cost between £8.27 billion and £10.7 billion, delays could push the final cost to £20 billion. Similar projects in Spain have cost up to 10 times less than that.

Meanwhile, in 2007, Stormont announced a planned upgrade to the A5 from Aughnacloy to Derry. It has spent £150m on the project, but not a yard of tarmac has been laid. The money has largely gone on consultancy and legal fees.

The current delay is the result of a court decision that the road’s development would breach Stormont’s 2022 Climate Change Act.

So MLAs passed a law which would prevent the A5’s upgrade, and spent £150m preparing for that upgrade, only to later discover they were planning to break their own law. The Chinese would enjoy that one.

In 2020-21, India built 23 miles of highways every day – that’s half the length on the proposed A5. Maybe China could subcontract road building to India in a united Ireland?

Both governments are also incapable of managing even the smallest projects.

To fix a leaking roof in Parliament Buildings, Stormont spent £250,000 over 18 months erecting and maintaining scaffolding before they had appointed a contractor to do the work.

In fairness, MLAs were busy during that time. They were multi-tasking by spending £500,000 to refurbish their restaurant (at a cost of £200,000 more than originally planned) while accepting a £14,000 annual pay increase.

In Dublin, the government spent almost £300,000 building a Leinster House bicycle shelter. They think a lot of their bicycles in Dublin.

Against that background (and there is a lot more we have not mentioned), nationalists believe that we should be planning to merge two incompetent governments into one big incompetent government, on the basis that it is the only way to solve all our problems.

Tell that to the Chinese. They enjoy a good laugh.

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