One of my children is irate at my deletion of an important school email. I claim that so many useless emails rain into my inbox that some useful ones will surely be missed. This excuse attracts zero sympathy but prompts me to comb through the hundreds of deleted emails. They are from every part of the world – Lisbon to London, Athens to Ankara – and almost all of them are an invitation to shine at a research publication.

In recognition of your scholarly achievements and contributions to the advancement of knowledge in your field, we request you to submit a research paper on a topic of your choice.

The writer promises expert editorial assistance, rapid publication and professional distinction.

An offer to bridge the gap between science and society sounds interesting until I read that the finely honed editorial process will just need my name, not my time. There’s a follow-up email, “just in case this went to spam”.

Next is an invitation to submit an abstract to a “prestigious conference” (is there another kind?) in return for free nights in (sigh) Vienna. Also, a somewhat testy reminder that I am “intentionally ignoring” an invitation to write an editorial on advances in prostate surgery and a slightly disappointed tone that I have been silent on a 30% waiver on the “article processing fee” for writing about the origins of psychosis, both topics about which I know almost nothing.

There is an intriguing contract to author an entire book on cancer to create “a global legacy” through sales on every platform but the catch for the writer in me is that I don’t need to pen the words that will “accurately depict” my “scientific........

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