A few years ago, I wrote about the rise of the “soft” and “hard” launch on social media, those curated posts that signalled a new relationship. Online platforms had become an extension of the romance plot, a public stage where intimacy was proof of worth and coupledom was still the ultimate status symbol.

Back then, my research showed that many people felt their lives had not truly begun until they’d met someone. Being single wasn’t just a relationship status; it was an existential pause. To “get a life”, as the old saying went, meant to find a partner. Romance was the scaffolding of selfhood.

But something has shifted. In 2025, the romance plot appears to be fraying at the edges. Vogue recently asked in a viral headline: Is having a boyfriend now embarrassing? It argued that, across social media, the term “boyfriend” was taking on a strangely dated, even cringe, tone, not unlike the way “Facebook official” now sounds quaint. The idea of centring your identity around a relationship feels, to many, passé.

Platforms like TikTok are teeming with young women publicly declaring themselves “#boysober” – a rapidly growing movement rejecting dating, hookup culture, exes and........

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