It was a tense stand-off. I wanted the shirt but not at the price she was asking. She wanted to sell it to me but not at the price I was offering. Frowns all round until I deployed my secret weapon: the down-down dance.

Login or signup to continue reading

A well-practised routine of heart clutching, face pulling, sighing and mock sobbing soon had an audience, drawn by the theatre of it all. After 10 minutes I had the shirt at the price I wanted as well as a playful poke in the tummy from the stallholder. "You happy Buddha now," she beamed. And then tried to sell me another shirt.

One of my all-time favourite things about travelling in Asia is bargaining in local markets. Ubud, Shanghai, Penang, Ho Chi Minh City, Mumbai ... I've done them all and every time the down-down dance has not only secured bargains, it's crossed cultural bridges and broken through language barriers.

More importantly, it's made total strangers laugh, brightened up otherwise dull days for the shopkeepers. I'll never forget the uproar in China many years ago when the stallholder clocked my cheekiness as I performed my routine. "Naughty man! Naughty man!" she laughed as she spanked my bottom. I secured the porcelain souvenir at the price I wanted and the small crowd which had gathered applauded.

I can't understand why so many Western travellers head for the fixed-price stores, preferring a quick and soulless transaction to one which requires a bit of argy-bargy and human interaction. They're missing the fun of an ancient human game and its connection and humour.

Like this exchange in Petaling Street in Kuala Lumpur:

"You want $20 for that fake Rolex? Come on, who are you trying to kid?"

"But sir, it's quality, authentic fake."

I didn't buy the watch but had a good chuckle with the stallholder.

Over the years, the down-down dance has become integral to my very own art of the deal.

First up, display mock anguish - clutching the heart is a good starter - at the first price tapped out on a calculator. Take the calculator and respond with 40 per cent of the price. Look at the counter offer and reject it. Slowly raise your offer. When that's........

© The Examiner