Alec Baldwin is opening up. The rest of us are asking, “Why?” and, “Hold up a newspaper with today’s date on it.”

Alec Baldwin, along with wife Hilaria Baldwin, showed off his three-story Hamptons home to The New York Times (NYT). He also showed off his bizarre marriage. (RELATED: ROOKE: I Don’t Even Like Alec Baldwin, But Dear Lord He Deserves Better Than This)

Two illustrations of Hilaria Baldwin hang in the 11,000 square-foot-estate. The first, a modest portrait of the mother cradling her infant. The second, an enormous painting of Hilaria Baldwin in a low-cut top, holding fruit, serried rows of Rice-A-Roni behind her. 

“I have to admit that I’m extraordinarily embarrassed that there is a gigantic painting of me in this room,” Ms. Baldwin tells the NYT. “It’s like, ‘Welcome to my living room. Here is a painting of me.’”

So bashful. So meek. 

Alec Baldwin’s wife Hilaria snaps at him in public and tells him to be quiet when she’s talking.

“When I’m talking, you’re not talking.”

You may be mad that Alec Baldwin escaped........

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