This post is adapted from Mr. Right’s weekly newsletter, which tackles modern manhood for normal guys in a not-normal world. If you have not already subscribed for free, please consider doing so here. 

It’s 2033. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is Supreme Empress of the Decolonized States Of America. As part of her first executive decree, Dear Leader AOC bans all nicotine products and sentences the Phillip Morris executive board to a decade of hard labor in a gulag in Humboldt County, California, where they will harvest marijuana by day, and face DEI struggle sessions by night.

You hear of the news on a Monday evening, in the dead of winter. You shudder at the thought of Phillip Morris execs being frog-marched into a Pride-themed gulag. After eating a bowl of plant-based “meat” for dinner in your rent-controlled pod, you slide your last after-meal Zyn into the lower deck and take an evening stroll through the city to clear your head.

© The Daily Caller