I’ve achieved “FAT” in my mid-50s [a level of financial retirement that can afford an above-average lifestyle]. It’s taken a lifetime to achieve, but how do you learn to spend? I want to fly business class, but my frugal habits hold me back. I understand the “die with zero” philosophy, and that you can’t take it with you, but I can’t believe I worked so hard to give myself options, but now I just can’t seem to take the plunge.

This question wasn’t directed to me personally. I found it posted anonymously in a FIRE (financial independence; retire early) online group. I’m going to answer it anyway because it’s a great representation of conversations I’ve had with many people.

If you’ve spent a lifetime being frugal, you might feel trapped by your spending habits.Credit: Simon Letch

This is the “dark side” of frugality. If you spend years training yourself to cut costs and spend less, and you pride yourself on how little you spend because you believe “spending is bad, saving is good”, that becomes your truth – one that is difficult to see outside.

We tend to think financial results are a byproduct of practical financial skills and behaviours. How to save, invest, optimise your taxes – this all takes financial skill. But what precedes financial behaviour? What makes someone prioritise........

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