There’s a problem with mince pies and spring. It goes way deeper than hot cross buns

November 3, 2026 — 7:00pm

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It’s spring – a wondrous time for allergic rhinitis and for complaining about Christmas mince pies already being in the supermarket. The Mince Pie Creep, as I have come to think of it, might be less notorious than the Hot Cross Bun Creep (no longer even ubiquitous with Easter, now a completely non-denominational carbohydrate), but I feel deeper unease about its presence.

I no longer believe the Christmas mince pie is an innocent little pastry designed to bring cheer – that it holds enough sugar to induce a diabetic-grade thirst is another matter. Rather, it is what animal behaviourists call a sign stimulus: a specific environmental cue that triggers instinctive behaviour.

For monarch butterflies, shorter days and colder temperatures are a sign stimulus to swivel their antennae compasses and head to the butterfly equivalent of Copacabana. The red belly of the male three-spined stickleback fish is a sign stimulus to other male sticklebacks to launch a vicious........

© The Age