While love may be unconditional, good relationships aren't. They require intention and care. Regular check-ins about your relationship can improve relationship satisfaction (Rogge, 2013). When you get intentional about discussing your relationship, you can work through issues before they become bigger problems and break patterns of avoidance that have kept you feeling disconnected.

In therapy, I recommend that my couples have a weekly State of the Union meeting (an idea rooted in John Gottman's research). Here's how to structure your State of the Union meeting to strengthen your bond.

Take turns going back and forth with your partner, sharing five things each that you appreciated about what your partner did that week, and what personal quality it demonstrated. For example, "I really appreciated that you took the dog for a walk when I was too tired—it showed me how caring you are."

What has your partner been doing well? So often in relationship discussions, we only talk about the things that need to change. This makes sense, because the things that are going well are going well—we don't always feel the need to talk about things........

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