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Fear and overwhelm may keep us stuck in an unhealthy situation.

Large life changes need an action plan.

Resources such as a Vision Board and enlisting the help of supportive others can ease the pain of the change.

Feeling stuck and out of control over a situation is a lousy and often painful feeling. Depending on the situation, you may feel annoyed, completely overwhelmed, or somewhere in between. For those of us who grew up in chaotic and/or dysfunctional households, the current feeling may mimic the lack of control we felt as children. This lack of control state can render us frozen and be a roadblock to making necessary life changes.

Perhaps you feel stuck in a job or a relationship that’s going nowhere but are nervous about making a large change. In the case of a job, there are practical aspects such as the necessity of an income to pay your bills; whereas with a relationship, there are emotional issues such as concerns over hurting the current partner’s feelings. Perhaps it is a feeling of being stuck in a country in which atrocities appear to be worsening. These are all valid concerns and should be taken into consideration. Thus, we need to ask ourselves if our current situation is wrong for us or, worse yet, harmful to us.

So, what can we do to get unstuck from feelings of overwhelm and powerlessness?

1. Soul-searching: Decide what you have control over

Start by sitting down and writing out what you have control over and what you don’t. Realizing and accepting this can help you take the necessary steps to drag yourself out of the overwhelming muck and build a new path forward. For some, saying the Serenity Prayer may resonate, and provide comfort and strength through this process.

Lay down your defenses. I know: You probably want to scream indignantly, “Why me?” At this point, we need radical self-honesty; looking into the mirror and asking ourselves how much we chose or contributed to the upsetting situation in which we feel stuck. While as individuals we may have had little to do with situations such as political atrocities, other circumstances may be ones in which we’ve played a role, maybe........

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