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Cognitive reappraisal is usually thought to be the best way to manage stress, but it has its limits.

New research suggests that when the stressed-out person isn't you, other approaches may be better.

Relationships can benefit when both partners try to bolster each other's stress-busting abilities.

It would seem that one of the key jobs for a good relationship partner is to contribute to that partner’s well-being. However, not everyone is equally skilled at performing this job. Nate’s partner Shelley tends to worry a great deal over little things, often staying up late at night nervously tossing and turning. Ordinarily, Nate can calm Shelley down pretty easily by making a joke or taking on a few more household chores. This time, though, Shelley is inconsolable. It was a bad week at work, and things only seem to be heading in a far worse direction, with possible job loss on the horizon. What can Nate do to help?

The Good and the Bad in Other-Focused Emotion Control

A new study by University of Toronto’s Yitong Zhao and colleagues (2026) adds to the growing body of research on other-focused emotion regulation, in which people try to help those they care about feel better. Shelley, the eternal worrywart, usually manages to figure out how to pull out of an emotional slump. But this time, nothing seems to be working. It would seem that this situation would be a good candidate for Nate to put these other-focused emotion regulation tools into action.

As Zhao et al. point out, the most common way that people try to regulate their own emotions is through cognitive reappraisal, the........

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