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That Empty Nest May Be Fuller Than You Think

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The empty nest is often regarded as a time of crisis though most current research fails to support this idea.

A comprehensive study examines the ways that couple cope with changing dynamics of family transitions.

By seeing transitions as opportunities for growth, you can come to regard what was empty as full.

When adult children move out of the family home, resulting in what is familiarly called the “empty nest,” the psychological lore claims that parents, especially mothers, are devastated. However, like many terms in the psychology of adult development that stick around for decades (dare I say “midlife crisis”?), this one fails to receive support from research. True, there was one study back in the 2000s documenting “empty nest syndrome" (Mitchell & Lovegreen, 2009), but this fate only fell on a small and specific minority of parents.

The Roots of the Empty Nest

Why, then, did the term "empty nest" grow so popular or come to have so many negative associations? After all, birds don’t become destroyed when their fledglings fly away. They (presumably, as much as they're able) consider it a sign of success.

Looking back historically at women’s roles before two-career families became a thing, the theory of the empty nest was based on the idea that by losing their parental obligations, mothers would experience a loss of meaning in life. This view was consistent with the general approach in sociology known as “role theory,” which, as the term implies, regards your social position as defining your well-being. Loss of position equates with loss of well-being.

Even back in the days when women’s roles were more traditionally defined, there wasn’t much evidence to support the idea that having children leave home was bad. In “family life cycle” theory, marital satisfaction starts to head downhill when children are born and remains in the gully until........

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