Emotional intelligence may seem like a difficult ability to acquire.

A new study shows the value of what’s called “metacognition” to help people make better emotional decisions.

By thinking about the wisdom of our reactions, we can become better at expressing our true feelings.

You’re upset with a close friend who suddenly pulls out of long-held dinner plans with only the briefest of excuses. This was going to be your chance to catch up on old times, and, what’s more, you changed your entire schedule to accommodate your friend. All of this makes you both tearful and angry.

Rationally, you know you shouldn’t be so out of control. You and your friend have known each other for years, and there is almost certainly a good reason for this last-minute change in plans. This isn’t much help, though, as you run through all the possible ways you might have alienated your friend without realizing it. Or maybe your friend just doesn’t care as much about you as you thought. In any case, you’re about to send an angry text.

Emotional Intelligence and the Ability to Gain Self-Control

According to new research by University of Sydney’s Riley Leckie and colleagues (2026), a simple cognitive process known as “monitoring,” or “metacognition,” could hold the key to emotional intelligence. Metacognition is what you go through when you recognize that there’s a gap between what you know and what you need to know. Once you can identify these gaps, you can plan how to get that needed knowledge.

Maybe you’d like to learn a new hobby. You would begin by getting the materials you need, seeing if you can understand the instructions, and then taking it one step at a time. Without realizing it, you’re using metacognition as a strategy........

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