menu_open Columnists
We use cookies to provide some features and experiences in QOSHE

More information  .  Close

What an Earthquake Taught Me About Identity

59 0
13.08.2026

Unexpected events often reveal what matters most in our lives.

Restorative justice begins with listening before accountability becomes possible.

Personal grief can change the way professionals listen to others.

The first person we call in a crisis may say something about identity.

Shortly after my mother and father died, I traveled to Medellín, Colombia, to facilitate a restorative justice circle. The trip had been planned months earlier, and although I considered cancelling it, I decided to keep my commitment. I am still grieving, and I was not sure I was ready to return to work.

Restorative justice has shaped much of my professional life. It has taught me that people cannot be understood by looking only at the event that brought them into the room. Listening comes before accountability because people speak differently when they know someone is genuinely willing to hear their story.

The participants in Medellín spoke openly about their families, painful experiences, broken relationships, and decisions that had changed their lives. The conversation unfolded naturally, without anyone feeling rushed or interrupted.

The Interrupted Conversation

We had been talking for a while when several phones started vibrating. At first, no one thought much about it. Then someone looked at a message and quietly said there had been an earthquake. The conversation stopped as people reached for their phones to call their families. I called mine too.

While I waited, I looked around the room. One participant walked toward the door to get a better signal. Camilo remained in his chair, trying........

© Psychology Today