When we talk about bullying, most people picture middle school hallways, anonymous online posts, or cliques forming in adolescence. But the truth is, the seeds of bullying are planted much earlier. For many children, it begins around third grade for girls and fourth grade for boys.

In The Crucial Years, I describe this period of middle childhood, roughly ages 6 to 12, as the foundation for social and emotional development. It is when kids begin navigating power, belonging, and identity. The same social awareness that helps children form friendships can also, without guidance, turn into exclusion, teasing, or the misuse of power.

Not everything that feels hurtful is bullying. Children will sometimes argue, tease, or leave others out........

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