The Science of Mating

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That elusive “spark” everyone talks about wanting to experience might feel like the ultimate goal for a first date but what if it’s actually an illusion that’s distracting you from the kind of connection that builds something real over time?

When it comes to dating, fairy tales and romantic movies often emphasize the importance of finding the much sought-after spark and often reinforce the idea that instant chemistry automatically means you’ve found your soulmate. While some couples initially have this experience, many more do not. What happens when a first date doesn’t feel the way you think it should based on this idea? When there isn’t instant chemistry, many people may decide to write off a potential relationship from the start but in doing so they may miss out on a great connection.

When you are holding onto an idea of what you think love should look like, you may be overlooking people who could be a great match for you simply because the connection didn’t immediately click the way you anticipated it would.

Next time you’re wondering whether you should go out on another date after you didn't feeling sparks on the first, consider the following reasons:

1. Feeling sparks on the first date may be an indication of anxiety rather than a sign of compatibility

Sparks and butterflies are often perceived as a sign that you’ve met your match but sometimes it might mean that your nervous system is on high alert and that you are mistakenly interpreting your anxiety as excitement.

When you feel instant chemistry........

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