Remembering what was said in a conversation can be considered an indication of how much we care about the people we talk to. As such, remembering conversations helps us maintain our romantic relationships, our friendships, and our collegial connections.

So, how well do we remember conversations? It depends on our level of participation.

Active participation in conversation demands considerable attention.

We need to listen, monitor the understanding of other participants, quickly accommodate changing subjects, and think about what to say next, providing enough context for what we say, but not too much.

It’s possible that being directly engaged in these tasks leads to more active and thorough encoding of what’s being said. It’s also possible that being excused from this cognitive load allows for a more complete and reliable representation of what’s said. Overhearers, for example, do not need to attend to the demands of conversational turn-taking, so they have more attention to devote to the contents of the conversation.

© Psychology Today