Sibling sexual abuse is something I think about daily.

Sometimes I’m feeling the aftereffects of my brother sexually abusing me. Sometimes I’m focused on the serious and creative work of how to protect children and prevent them from experiencing sibling sexual abuse (known as SSA). Sometimes I’m experiencing the joy of being in community with other survivors, sharing our experiences and building bonds on a Zoom call.

Many people never think about sibling sexual abuse, a form of child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA) that is also called sibling sexual trauma, sibling molestation, sibling sexual behavior, and sibling incest. As a researcher, survivor, and the editor of and author in the anthology Not Child’s Play: An Anthology on Brother-Sister Incest, my longtime goal has been to focus attention on sibling sexual abuse, so that together we can prevent any more SSA and find healing. Here, let’s talk about what is considered sibling sexual abuse, why siblings sexually abuse, and the signs and effects of sibling sexual abuse.

But first, imagine you are a parent, and one of your children tells you another one of your children is touching them. They are ashamed to tell you, but they don’t like it and can’t make the sibling stop.

Or imagine you are an adult, and one of the younger kids in your family tells you about the things another one of the kids did to them when you were all children. Or maybe you are a teacher, and a student you know well tells you they refuse to walk home with their sibling; or you're a neighbor, and another neighbor tells you they were abused as a kid by their sibling and they are trying to figure out how to get help.

Of course, you probably wouldn't be eager to be the parent, older relative, teacher, or neighbor in any of these scenarios. Yet how any adult first responds to a child, sibling, student, or neighbor brave enough to seek support and validation of their experience of abuse is critical. The adult’s response can be either supportive or (re)traumatizing. So why wouldn’t you want to be ready, supportive, and act with love?

To be supportive, you need to be aware. My research focuses on sibling sexual abuse, where one sibling is exercising their........

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