Some friends resent when we make important life changes and may undermine or sabotage us.

People may grieve losing friends, even those who haven’t always had our best interests in mind.

Good friendships are founded on reciprocal goodwill and a shared commitment to becoming better people.

Good friendships contribute enormously to our happiness.

Friendships change over time because we humans are always changing. We both are and are not the same people we were one year ago, 10 years ago, or 50 years ago. Our friendships remind us of who we are and who we used to be. They also let us imagine who we could be.

When people change important parts of themselves, such as their moral commitments, political beliefs, religious convictions, or life-orienting activities, their friendships may change as well. They may need to recalibrate friendships and determine if, where, and how they fit into a person’s life. This can be very disorienting.

The “friends” who undermine and sabotage

Early in recovery from addiction, our friendship circles may undergo a seismic shift. If most of our friends had been our drinking or using buddies, being around them may elicit an avalanche of powerful and conflicting emotions on our part. The setup can also release some bad behavior by our friends, unfortunately.

Some of these friends may be unsupportive, while others actively sabotage efforts to be sober. Some will take your decision to reduce or stop as a judgment about them. They may even accuse you of making judgments about their use. Others will perceive your efforts at sobriety as a threat to them, especially if you have been........

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