Understanding Loneliness

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Happiness rankings often miss loneliness, emotional distress, and disconnection

Well-being depends on lived experience, not only economic and health measures

Success and wealth do not protect people from anxiety, burnout, or depression

Many immigrant families hide emotional struggles behind achievement and stability

By a recent national ranking, Fremont, CA was named the happiest city in America yet again.

I remember reading that headline and pausing. I live here. I work here. I sit across from people in this city every day as a psychotherapist. And I could not reconcile what I read with what I hear in my office.

On paper, the ranking makes sense. A 2026 report from WalletHub placed Fremont at the top after analyzing dozens of indicators, including income, employment, physical health, and self-reported well-being. Nearly 80 percent of households earn over $75,000. Divorce and separation rates are among the lowest in the country. Residents report fewer mentally unhealthy days than the national average. By every measurable standard, this is what a “happy” city is supposed to look like.

But the version of Fremont I see is quieter and harder to measure.

A woman in her forties sat across from me not long ago. She had what most people would describe as a good life. A stable marriage, two children, a home in a good neighborhood. She said this to me almost apologetically. “I know I should not complain..." Then she paused for a long time before continuing, “But I feel invisible in my own life.”

Nothing in a city ranking captures that sentence.

Happiness rankings rely on what can be counted. Income levels. Employment rates. Life expectancy. Marital status. These are important. They shape the conditions people live in. But they are not the same as the experience of living.

A low divorce rate is often used as evidence of stability. Stability is then interpreted as happiness. But stability does not tell you what is happening inside a relationship.

Data from the U.S. Census Bureau shows that divorce rates in the United States have declined over the past decade. At the same time, research from the........

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