Have you noticed that critical voice in your head getting louder lately?

When you're quietly cracking—maintaining your professional performance while experiencing significant internal distress—that inner critic often becomes relentless. It tells you everyone else is handling things better. That you're weak for struggling. That you need to push harder.

But our recent research with more than 1,000 people reveals this: That self-critical voice isn't helping. It's making things worse.

When we harshly judge ourselves, we activate our brain's threat system. This shifts us into self-inhibition and self-punishment, leaving us demoralized and stuck in cycles of rumination and procrastination. For example, researchers following hundreds of people working toward various goals found that the more people criticized themselves, the slower their progress became and the less likely they were to achieve the goals.

Self-compassion works differently. Kristin Neff at the University of Texas explains that self-compassion means treating yourself like a

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