What do you do when you feel like your entire life is friction? When everything is hard, heavy, and uphill?

It would not help us to pretend that optimizing our morning routines will fix the world's problems or make our workplaces fairer.

But here's what I've learned about doing the best we can when everything feels like too much: we always have a degree of control. We can eliminate some of the stressors. Sometimes, though, we are spending our energy trying to reduce the wrong kind of friction.

Not all friction is bad. Some friction—learning a skill, having a tough but needed conversation, solving a meaningful, complicated problem—is exactly where crucial growth happens. That's productive friction. Psychologists call this "desirable difficulty," the kind of challenge that strengthens learning and builds capacity. It's hard, but it moves us forward.

The friction that burns us out is the other kind: the unnecessary resistance that drains us before we even get to real work.

The best performers aren't avoiding all challenges. They're protecting their capacity for the friction that matters and builds.

Good Friction (Keep This):

Bad Friction (Reduce Where You Can):

Some friction we can eliminate. Some we can only reduce. Some we're stuck with. But in many cases, even a small change can provide breathing room.

We can't control........

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