If you’ve ever been seriously involved with another person, you’ve probably wound up asking yourself some important questions. “What does it mean when they ask me to meet their friends?” you might wonder, after a few dates. Later, when you’re visiting their family over the holidays, you might ask yourself about the significance of that encounter.

Still later, you could start wondering about moving in together, or even about a long-term commitment. “Is this person right for me?” you may end up thinking. “Do I love them enough?” Or perhaps your doubts go in the other direction, focusing on yourself: “With all of my faults, am I good enough for this person?”

Generally, questions like these are completely normal, but at times they become overwhelming, intrusive, or destructive. When that happens, your uncertainty might have spilled over into relationship OCD.

Often underdiagnosed and officially still just a subtype of OCD rather than an officially recognized disorder, ROCD can easily be mistaken for the typical anxieties that romantic relationships stir up. But just like its obsessive-compulsive namesake, relationship OCD is characterized by persistent, upsetting doubts and hesitations—in this case, concerning one’s relationship, one’s partner, or oneself. These obsessive doubts can lead to compulsions as well, if the sufferer turns to repeated thoughts to “undo” their doubts or repeated actions to relieve their chronic anxiety.

Relationship OCD comprises two specific subtypes: relationship-centered ROCD and partner-centered ROCD. In relationship-centered ROCD, obsessive thoughts circle around one’s partner. Repeatedly asking yourself if you’re really in love, if you’re “settling,” or if you’re not actually........

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