After every school shooting, mass shooting, or act of targeted political violence, I’ve noticed a heartbreaking and consistent theme in my work with families. Mothers often come to me with the same fearful question:
"Why does this keep happening with boys—and is my son at risk too?"

Most recently, one mother sat across from me, exhausted and tearful, asking if her parenting was somehow creating a “narcissist” in her son. She feared what she was seeing—and even more, what it might mean. Was her child destined for a dangerous path, or was she missing something crucial?

As a clinician, I’ve heard this question too many times to dismiss it as a coincidence. The fear is real and justified. This pattern of violence among boys cannot be ignored, minimized, or explained away as “isolated incidents.”

Her question, and the repeated concerns of so many parents, prompted me to dig deeper into the research. I wanted to understand how violence in young boys connects to upbringing, identity development, and, in some cases, the emergence of violent patterns later in life. What I found confirmed what I had seen in practice: Ignoring certain personality traits—especially entitlement, fragile identity, and unchecked narcissism—can have devastating consequences.

In recent decades, the United States has experienced repeated tragedies: school shootings, mass shootings, and targeted political violence. While there is no single profile for violence, research shows that

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