As time goes by, it’s common to get a bit cynical about New Year’s resolutions.

“I never keep them, so why make any,” my friend Cynthia observed with a shrug as we talked about our hopes that life could be different in the coming year.

I agreed that most of the promises to exercise daily, eat Mediterranean or low-carb or keto, and to stick to a strict budget all tend to crash and burn before January is over. But what if one entertained ideas for life renewals and changes in the year to come? And what if these ideas centered on bringing more positivity to an important relationship?

What might be possible if you told yourself:

Just for today (and maybe all year) I’ll banish my phone from meals — both at home and at restaurants — and really see and hear my partner. It has become less shocking but still sad to see couples out for a date night at a restaurant that is spent largely on their phones. Facing each other over a shared meal, whether at home or out, and seizing the opportunity to reconnect can be a joy. If most of your meals are spent with a lively young family, carve out a short time after the meal or after the kids are in bed to ask about each other's day or state of mind, or simply hold hands and enjoy a warm silence together.

I will listen more closely to my loved one, hearing nuances I might otherwise miss or details that are important to him or her. As the years go by, we may find ourselves multi-tasking and half-listening to a loved one. And we may miss important clues about our partners — what they want or expect or wish could happen — that would enable us to be better, more

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