Why Relationships Matter

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Practice being in the moment, fully present, first with yourself and then with your partner.

Pay attention, listening without judgment or planning a response.

Make time to reconnect, through talk, touch, humor or comfortable silence together

Her discomfort was immediate when I suggested that mindfulness might help to increase her self-awareness and emotional regulation and decrease the intensity of her conflicts with her long-time boyfriend.

“Oh, no,” my client, "Alysa," said. “I’m not into that New Age stuff. And my boyfriend Chad? He can’t stand all that woo-woo. He’s a real down to earth kind of guy.”

Many people, like Alysa and Chad, may resist the idea of meditating, sharing affirmations, and the like. But embracing the spirit of mindfulness in your life may be as simple as noticing – noticing your emotions without judgment or blame; being fully in the present moment, noticing sights, sounds, and sensations; seeing a beloved but imperfect partner through the lens of compassion and empathy; listening instead of planning a response.

Research has found that mindfulness can enhance romantic relationships in many ways. Acceptance of yourself and of your partner may keep you from falling into the trap of wanting your partner to change, to morph into some romantic ideal, instead of being simply himself or herself. It may mean growing self-awareness that helps you to explore how to become a more loving partner. It can mean being aware of intense feelings like anger and resentment and noticing what’s behind these and how these are and aren’t triggered by your partner.

“I was flying off the handle at my husband all the time when we........

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