Helping Everyone Else Might Be Hurting You
Take our Can You Spot Self-Sabotage?
Find a therapist near me
Self-sabotage doesn't always look like avoidance sometimes it looks like being dependable and generous
When you consistently prioritize others' needs, you're building an identity around it
Every time you choose the noble self-sabotage, you reinforce the belief that your needs come last
Rachel had missed weeks of scheduled workouts. When I reached out she said that work had been chaotic and that she had been working later. Next week should be back to normal. This would be well and good if it had not happened several times before. She was struggling to kick off her routine because she was consistently working into the night.
There is a version of sabotage that doesn't look like self-sabotage at all. It looks like generosity or being dependable. It looks like being the person people can count on, a team player, willing to put others first. From the outside, it can even look and likely feel noble. That's what makes it so hard to recognize and so hard to stop. It might actually feel good at the moment, it probably does. But what it’s really signaling is that you are available for everyone else's needs.
I call this the Noble self-sabotage. Your progress or........
